Living in Limbo

If you grew up in the 1990's (like most of us recent grads did) you certainly remember Sabrina the Teenage Witch. If you remember the episode when  Sabrina and her aunts get stuck "in limbo," well- then you know that Sabrina threw in a little relate-able-treat for us swirly-twirly sneezeweeds. Let me rattle your brain a bit;  Sabrina's best friend Jenny spends the night and somehow wanders into the "linen closet" causing Jenny to get sucked into "limbo" where Drell, the ruler of limbo I suppose, turns Jenny into a grasshopper because she is a mortal. Sabrina and her aunts follow Jenny and arrive in limbo themselves. They find grasshopper-Jenny and have to find a rule that can counter the "no mortals in the other realm rule" to turn her back into human-Jenny and get her out of limbo and safely home. Lucky for them, there is a rule that states "Every rule must have a loophole." (aha!) and Jenny is able to go back to the mortal realm, as a human, believing everything in limbo was simply a dream.

Now that you sat through my Readers-Digest version of the episode synopsis, you must be wondering what  on earth (or in limbo) I am talking about, and what it has to do with scraped knees and swing-set feet.

I, my lovely readers, am stuck in limbo on a vigorous search for my loophole escape. And those scraped knees and swing-set feet are what is on the other side of the linen closet door. I've been wandering aimless in this world surrounded by train-schedules, job applications, blue skies, late nights, teary-mornings, and maybe even a grasshopper or two. Don't get me wrong, limbo isn't all bad. I've had lovely afternoons with friends, sleep-in mornings with snuggle pups, and some life changing adventures. But the allure of limbo can only last for so long. I am ready for my loophole. I am ready to pop out of my little sneeze-bud.

I am ready to get back to running in cool grasses with scraped kneed children, and to kick my feet on swing-sets along side scuffed-sneakered-toes. I want to see rosy cheeks while handing out cups of cool water, and smell wind and dirt coming off shaggy-haired heads as they run past. I'd love nothing more then to get back to life as I know it. I'm not sure even the best of loopholes can get me there-but maybe I can come close.

I'm starting to feel like this world of limbo isn't about getting back through the linen closet door, maybe the loophole isn't meant to make me wake up feeling like these last few months have been a strange dream, and maybe Drells outrageous rules aren't meant to keep me in limbo forever, but to make sure I move onto a new door. Maybe, no matter how much I am longing to get back to those scraped knees, it is time to let someone else enjoy that world that I loved so much beyond the linen closet door,  while I move onto explore others. And there is no prospect as scary as that one.

So while I wander here, among paint cans and light-bulbs, resumes and checklists, and even sunflowers and fondue pots, I am on a constant search for the right loophole that will lead to the next door to get me out of limbo. Beyond the door? I don't know what to expect- but all I can hope is that I will find a wonderful field of sneezeweed, with maybe a scraped-knee or two giggling about.

After all, once a sneezeweed-always a sneezeweed.